The Instructors Exposed Part One (Savoy, Sinn, Braddock)

Savoy

Savoy’s mother must have slipped some protein powder into his feeding bottle and let him suck on a protein bar instead of a pacifier, because this guy is a tower! In fact he is so tall that he was once drafted as the #1 pick for the Los Angeles Lakers, but the league regulators thought it was an unfair advantage to be able to dunk without having to physically leave the ground, so he was disqualified.

Savoy made his first cold approach on a hot girl before he was even able to walk, and rumors have it he got to suck on her nipples. What I really admire about Savoy is that he’s not afraid to step up to the plate and show everyone what he got in terms of game (with over three decades of experience that shit is TIGHT). He could easily just chillax as the president of the company and leave the approaching and instructing in our capable hands, but he doesn’t hide behind his post - he shows everyone what game is all about. He’s kind of like a mafia boss in the sense that he worked his way to the top and now got power, skills and experience - something you don’t want to mess around with. His final test to prove himself worthy of the company was to fight a mini-shark with his hands tied behind his back. He gamed the shark to make it sit on his lap and then snapped the shark’s neck with one single, elegant leg-lock. He now wears the shark as a piece of jewelry on one of his fingers.

Always wanting his instructors to stay on top of their game and be the best in the business, he strategically picked the hotel in Vegas that’s the hardest to pull to, as a motivation to step up our game. The true test to see if you’ve got your end-game down is to be able to convince girls to stay the night at that hotel (more commonly known as “the house of LMR”). I do however want to take this opportunity and thank S for the extremely well-organized Super-Conference… it was awesome!

Sinn

I’ve talked about Sinn earlier on this blog, but I don’t think I mentioned his background story. It all started when Sinn kicked his way out of his mother’s womb, bit off his own umbilical cord, wrapped a bandana around his head and joined the local San Diego street gang. In the gang he learned the important skill of thrash-talking, and with his natural talent he quickly rose in the ranks. However, a rival gang once did a drive-by when Sinn and his crew was shopping iron-on stickers for their leather jackets, and hit him in the head with a well-thrown Black Jack chip. The impact knocked him out cold and if it wasn’t for a heroic couple named Albert and Mrs Albert Einstein, Sinn would have been a goner. The Einsteins taught Sinn how to appreciate the finer things in life (like reading books and how to time travel) and if it wasn’t for them, he wouldn’t have been able to travel back to the 70’s and steal the absolutely most ridiculous mustache mankind ever seen. You see, Sinn loves LMR so much that he felt the need to grow the most awful wide handle bar mustache in a desperate attempt to make sleeping with girls a challenge.

If he wouldn’t have been so gangstah he probably would have discovered the cure to cancer by now, but instead he seem to be focused on contracting AIDS so he then can frame-control the disease to leave his body.

Braddock

Braddock is the guy who stole your lunch money and fucked the most popular girls in high school. He then later went on to play in the NFL as starting quarterback for the Buttfuck Nowhere Rednecks. However, his life took a drastic turn when on Super Bowl Sunday, with the score 17-17 and 6 seconds left to go in the 4^th quarter and 4 yards to go, he threw a meekly pass that was intercepted and ended up in a touchdown for the other team. His self-esteem hit rock bottom and he realized he needed to be friendlier towards people (but first he broke both legs of the guy who intercepted that decisive pass and then smacked his face in a table about ten times or so).

That the game itself wasn’t the Super Bowl (it just happened to be played on the Super Bowl Sunday on a muddy field somewhere in mid-west) didn’t seem to matter to B, which we all should be thankful for as he probably wouldn’t have been in the company if he hadn’t screwed that pass up (he’d probably been screwing Angelina Jolie instead). He also tried to tie his own shoe-laces once… he found it to be an overrated experience. He’s funny, a great friend and an awesome instructor. Every student who gets to work with B should consider himself very lucky, because this guy is truly a superstar.

- R