Rokker shares his views on: Questions versus Statements in Qualification

SirSlick from the Attraction Forums and the Lounge came up with a bunch of topics he wanted me to share my view on, and “questions v statements in qualification” was one of them (thanks for the contribution dude).

This is a very interesting topic, mainly because qualification (still) is such an overlooked step, but also because a lot of guys out there don’t know how to qualify properly. What we used to do is the classic “forced question qualification”, in other words the bait hook reel release (BHRR) model. While certainly a good model if you have absolutely nothing else to qualify the girl on, there’s a lot of other stuff you can do which is even more powerful and effective (unless she’s a retarded space monkey brought back from the 17^th century and you absolutely have to force the qualifying question and chunk it up in small steps so she understands and follows you. However, a lot of girls are really smart and you don't have to be so damn mechanical with them).

What I like to do instead is “force framing” (lol that sounds bad ass!), in other words I choose what I want to qualify the girl for (e.g. being independent, trustworthy, discreet, sexually open – or any other frame that’s useful). So, for example, if I want to qualify the girl for being independent:

“You know what I really like about you? You are very independent. You trust your own judgment and don’t always need to lean on your friends for support and advice. Like when you left your friends for a while to come over here and talk to me… and I bet you still would have talked to me even if your friends wouldn’t have liked me as much as they do. That’s awesome and exactly what I would have done too”.

Now this is delivered in isolation (since I say “when you left your friends for a while to come over here and talk to me”) but can altered to fit anywhere in the interaction. So first of all I chose the frame; I want her to be independent and make her own decisions (very useful for pulling and minimizing cock-blocks). But that’s not all (and I bet you advanced guys are smiling because there is so much going on in that statement…), I basically tell her that her friends like me (attraction), and I relate to myself and tell her that I have to same characteristics as her (comfort). I also give her an example of what she's done to reinforce that frame, which makes it a lot more effective.

In my mind, this is the best way to qualify a girl. So instead of asking a lot of questions, I show dominance and tell her what I like about her – it’s more direct, more powerful and I can chose things to qualify her for that helps us in the interaction (I say us because “seduction” is always mutual! I’m not trying to manipulate her or putting a frame that she’s not comfortable with… that’s just shitty behavior).

I mostly use statements when I qualify. That being said, I do use questions too. When I do, it’s mostly after I’ve displayed value; it’s easier to build compliance momentum and qualify after you’ve displayed value yourself. So for instance, I’ll tell an attraction story and then tie a qualifying question at the end of it – at this point you’ve displayed a lot of value in your story and she wants to match that value. Another time I use qualifying questions a lot is when I go direct – I assume attraction and then starts qualifying really early in the interaction with qualifying questions.

All in all, both statements and questions have their place in qualification. As always, any questions or comments are welcome.

- R