How to Display Your Identity as a Musician

Being a musician is one of the strongest identities you can have in this game, for two big reasons:

1) Music is a very emotional topic and

2) You can easily display passion and direction with your identity

I get a lot of questions from musicians asking what the best way to convey your identity is, so in this post I will tell you how I do it. However, you don’t have to be a professional musician to incorporate some of the ideas in this post, and if you are not; try to think of ways you can take the ideas I’m presenting here and alter them to fit your identity.

Talk About It As Early As Possible!

A lot of people with strong identities (doctors, lawyers, musicians) try to hide or not talk about their identity as they don’t want it to appear like they are bragging about it. This is a perfect example of shooting yourself in the foot with a bazooka. Instead, you want EVERY SET to know that you are a musician, and the earlier you introduce this, the better.

Now, there’s a number of ways to do this without it looking like you are bragging (for more information about this I highly recommend the Interview Series volume 6 on Identity and also volume 3 on Storytelling).

The Opener

The first way to do it, and something I regularly do, is to have an opener that tells them you are a musician. You could do this in a gazillion ways, from simply rooting your opener with “the reason I’m asking is because my band mate is seeing this girl…” to having the opener be about music in of itself, such as:

“Hey guys, do you think you could tell what kind of music people listen to without talking to them?” and root that with

“yeah you know it’s funny… the reason I’m asking is because I have people turning up to my gigs and they look absolutely nothing like the people you’d expect to turn up at a gig with the kind of music that I play… and that always amazes me. I always thought you could tell from just looking at a person what kind of music he or she’s in to, but the more I do this the more I start to doubt that…”

So the trick is to root your opener with reference to your career in music.

The Cold Read

The second way to do it, is to do a cold read, such as

“You know, you strike me as a girl who listens to a lot of R’n’B music… I better watch out for you. You and I are so not going to get along. The music I play is on the other end of the musical spectrum…”

Or

“Hmm... do you know who Jack Johnson is?”

[She replies]

“It just felt like you are in to that kind of music. I love Jack Johnson. He along with Damien Rice is probably my two biggest influences when it comes to writing music”.

Another example:

“Okay, I already know what kind of groupies you guys would be… You would be that sweet heart that never pisses anyone off, you would be the annoying screaming one that goes crazy every time you catch a glimpse of me and you would be the girl who steals my guitar, make up a bunch of crappy songs and try to steal the lime light”

The trick here is “throw and go”. Just like negs and teases, don’t seek a reaction. If they don’t hook and start asking questions on your open loops, just keep going.

Storytelling

Doesn’t take a rocket scientist to realize you can use story telling to convey your identity. Here are some topics of stories that I use myself:

- The pros and cons of touring (and traveling at the same time)

- How it feels to be on stage, and the minutes before going on

- How studio work is grueling but so much fun because it lets me be creative and express my feelings in songs

- The beauty of having an emotional outlet in the songs I write

- How different songs can affect my mood and inspire me

- How awesome it is do be doing something I love, follow my passion

Make sure your stories are emotional! That’s the beauty of having music as your identity; it’s so easy to convey emotions in your stories. How does music make you feel? How do you feel the seconds before you hit the stage? My stories have very little factual value, but loads and loads of emotional value.

The Accomplishment Intro

Probably the best way to tell the girls about your identity is having someone else tell them. Having your wing tell them you are an awesome musician is so much more powerful than telling them yourself, so teach your wing how to AI you (and you will of course AI him). The best way to do this is by actually giving an accomplishment you’ve done (hence the name!), such as:

“Did you know he’s currently working in the studio producing a new album? It’s going to be awesome!”

“I was at one of his concerts and it was amazing! I’ve never seen anyone play the guitar like that!”

Instead of simply saying “He’s a good musician”.

The Importance of Displaying Passion

What it all comes down to in the end, is displaying passion for your music. I can’t stress this enough. It will help you in all stages of the model; it will generate attraction, it will be your biggest stepping stone in comfort, and probably even reduce LMR! (not guaranteed, slight variances may apply, batteries not included, check with your local dealer)

I ALWAYS tell them how lucky I am to be able to follow my passion (and then qualify them by making them state their passion) and how I’m bound for greatness. I also suggest you create some sort of grounding routine that tells them what steps you took in order to pursue your dreams of being a musician.

Advanced Framing

For advanced readers, I have been experimenting lately (with great results) with incorporating frames (such as being non-judgmental / open-minded) with references to music. You can do this with all sorts of frames, but here’s an example:

“You know what I really like about striving to become a better musician? You have to be open-minded. After a while you’ll learn that every genre of music, every song has something unique about it and something you can learn from and the only way to be a really one of a kind artist is to be willing to listen to a lot of different styles and kind of mish-mash them into something that is you. We all know that the best artists are the ones that are influenced by a wide range of other artists, but follow their own paths, and don’t give a shit what others think of them. Now a day, I never judge an artist or a music genre because I know I can learn something from it and in the end make me a better musician”.

Take this concept and try to come up with other ways to incorporate frames. (This is similar to what Captain Jack refers to as “Stealth Patterns”, even though it can be even more discreet. Check his post at his blog here).

Summary

Again, what’s so powerful about being a musician is your ability to display a deep passion for something that everyone loves, and also being able to throw in a lot of emotions in to your “job talk”. Make sure you use this to your advantage!

And even if you are not a musician, the ideas and concepts in this post will help you too, so try to figure out how to incorporate them in to your own game to fit your identity.

- R

1 on 1 Review Posted

I just got a review of my two day One on One posted at the Attraction Forums. I’m really glad it turned out the way it did, because it may be an eye-opener for guys to take two consecutive One on Ones instead of one, and thus give me a better chance to really up your game. The longer session I have with you, the better I can help you (by revealing your true sticking points and also give you the time needed in field with my feedback to solve your initial ones).

Sure, it’s more expensive but it's also definitely worth it.

A link to the review can be found HERE.

- R

Fun(niest?) Show On TV

One of the funniest shows on TV right now is "Flight Of The Conchords" (HBO).

Flight of the Conchords follows the trials and tribulations of a two man, digi-folk band from New Zealand as they try to make a name for themselves in their adopted home of New York City. The band is made up of Bret McKenzie on guitar and vocals, and Jemaine Clement on guitar and vocals.

Bret and Jemaine have moved to New York in the hope of forging a successful music career. So far they've managed to find a manager (whose "other" job is at the New Zealand Consulate), one fan (a married obsessive) and one friend (who owns the local pawn shop) -- but not much else.

Here are some quotes from the early episodes of the show:

Jemaine: Man, back in New Zealand I was getting it on with lots of chicks.
Bret: Who?
Jemaine: Well, ah, Sarah Fitzpatrick, Michelle Fitzpatrick, Claire Fitzpatrick... the list goes on.
Bret: That was all of them.
Jemaine: Well, triple figures.
Bret: No that's not triple figures. That's three.
Jemaine: Here tho, I don’t seem to get with any women… I just talk about getting with hot women.
Bret: Yeah but the ones you talk about are hot… They are a lot hotter than the ones you got with in New Zealand.
Jemaine: That’s true… I do talk about getting with some pretty hot women.
Bret: Yeah, just talk about it man. You talk about it a lot.
Jemaine: Yeah… I suppose I do talk a lot about getting with some VERY hot women…

---

Jemaine: What happened there? Did I do something wrong?
Bret: I don't know. I couldn't really see.
Jemaine: I did all my moves. I walked on the outside of her. I bought her a kebab. I paid for half the taxi. Should I have paid for the whole taxi? Should I have paid for the whole taxi?

---

Jemaine: Hey, Bret, I think I know where I went wrong.
Bret: Hmm?
Jemaine: I think I know where I went wrong last night.
Bret: Yeah?
Jemaine: Yeah, Sally wanted to leave when you turned the light on. I think she found it weird - the whole thing with you there with the - with the light ... on.
Bret: Yeah, I think it might also be because she and I used to go out.
Jemaine: Yeah. It's 'cause you and her used to go out, but also because of the thing with the light. She's thinking, "Oh this is a nice situation." But then, "Ugh, who-- who turned on the light?
Bret: Yeah. Yeah, maybe. But I think it's mainly because her and I used to go out... for like six months.
Jemaine: Yeah, well -- yeah, it's mainly because you used to go out, but also mainly because of the whole situation with the light.
Bret: Yeah, but the last thing you want to see when you're hooking up is your ex in the same room.
Jemaine: Yeah, and you also don't want to be startled by a light, do you?

---

Jemaine: I can't believe you got that job and I didn't.
Bret: You know, you've got to work on your people skills.
Jemaine: Yeah, shut up, Bret.

- R

Free Routine: Rokker's Pressure Points in Palm Routine

So I promised you guys to reveal one of my own routines that I use in set, so here it is - the almighty "Rokker's Pressure Points in Palm Routine". Don't try this at home kids! (use it in field instead, fool!)

This is a routine I use as a transition into attraction, or as an attraction piece. What I like so much about it is that it a multi-purpose routine, in other words it works and hits on a lot of different levels. It's also very useful to amp up the touch in the beginning stages, and especially for guys who don't apply enough touch or generally need an excuse to start touching women early in the set.

This is how I lead in to the routine:

"Hey, my ex-girlfriend showed me something really cool yesterday. She is a masseuse and told me about these "pressure points" in the palm, kind of like acupuncture really. Here, give me your hand (take her hand, palm facing upwards). You see, she started to give me a little massage right here (massage the outer part of her palm, the one facing her body if she has her hand palm up) and the funny thing is that it made my left leg tickle! Can you feel you left leg tingle a bit?" (Of course, this is pure bullocks. I say this because I want to measure the amounts of attraction I already have. If she instantly goes "Yes", "I think so" or giggle or anything like that I know she's attracted, but if she says "No" and looks weird at me, I know I need to hit attraction harder)

"She also told me that this area (move to another part of the hand, doesn't matter which one) is stimulating the heart, so if I do a circular motion like this right here, you should feel a warm sensation it in your chest".

(If she says she doesn't) "You don't? Hmm that's weird. You know when she did it to me it felt amazing. There must be something wrong with you, because I know I'm doing this shit right (said playfully). Let's try the last area she told me about".

(If she says yes or nods) "It's really relaxing, isn't it? Makes you feel really good!"

"The last part she told me about was this part right here (move to random part of palm). This one is connected to the lower part of your back; right here (put your other hand on her lower back, gauge her response). She told me that if you massage this part for about 10 minutes a day, you can get rid of a lot of back problems. Isn't that sweet? Apparently some Chinese Guru had show this to her when she was traveling China, and now you too know the ancient secret of the palm pressure points. You better not reveal it to someone, this shit is powerful. Pinky swear".

At this time I've got enough indications whether she's attracted to me or not and I proceed within the model accordingly. You can add in how much extra stuff into this routine as you want, like negging her by wiping your hands when you massage her hands (indicating her hands are sweaty) or if she's skeptical about the whole thing I go "Here, look me in the eyes and try to lie to me that this doesn't give you a warm feeling in the chest area" for sustained eye contact with the woman I'm interested in.

A great routine to amp up the touching in the early stages and thus being able to gauge how interested she is in you and how well she responds to your escalation.

- R

Routines Manual Review

The Don just recently sent me a copy of the Routines Manual and thought I would post a little review of it.

First of all, I didn’t use an awful lot of routines when I started out because I wanted to develop my improvisation skills in set. While this is a good goal in itself (to develop your improv skills), it slowed down my learning curve a bit by flailing around in the beginning trying to come up with cool shit to say and interesting topics to talk about in set. What I should have done instead was to dissect a couple of canned routines and try to find common themes and good ways to hit attraction switches (something I eventually did and it boosted my game a lot). I learnt from the experience and now teach guys to create routine stacks when they start off so they later know how to riff off that and also come up with their own routines (with a better understanding of what a good routine should sound like).

There’s no shortage whatsoever of routines in this book (hence the name I guess) and they really all are top notch. You will never run of out things to say (in any stage of the model) ever again. It’s such a valuable source to know what we top instructors say in set, and would have saved me a lot of hassle and head ache if I had it when I started out.

But you don’t want to be "stealing" routines word for word from this book. You want to be stealing the concept and themes that we are using. The pattern of a good routines is pretty easy recognizable (or at least it will be after you’ve used a dozen of them in field), but the best part of this book in my mind is the section where The Don and Savoy guides you through how to create your own routines from your own identity. The pure essence of my game personally is revolving around my identity, so I know the power of being able to convey that in set. If you know how to create a routine that reinforces that identity or reveals it even more, your game is going to reach the next level.

You will not regret getting yourself the Routines Book.

But you have to order it *NOW*, its limited edition (only 34,567.7 copies made and they will all self-destruct in three weeks to keep the secrets of the masters unrevealed to no-one but the most committed PUAs!!!). I’m not even *ALLOWED* to tell you we are selling it, Savoy is looking angrily over my shoulder as I write this!!! Okay, I’ve got a date coming up with three hotties, so I got to end this review right now…

- R

Cajun On Keys To The VIP

One of the TMM instructors, Cajun, was on this Canadian Pick-Up show called “Keys To The VIP” last year, and his episode just got aired. The format of the show is that they pitch two guys against each other in 3 rounds with every round consisting of a “mission” they have to accomplish, e.g. get a girls phone number as quickly as possible or start the conversation off with an insult and then recover. Unfortunately, while it sure makes it more fun to watch, it also slightly takes away the perks of slow-boil game and rewards massive points to “flash-game”. No, not being bitter - I love fast-boil game and use it all the time - just an observation.

To no surprise, Cajun did a great job on the show. You can watch the full episode at: http://video.google.ca/videoplay?docid=2009352446961728591

And Derek, see you in Vegas! Let’s see if you can gamble as well as you pick-up, that’s what separates the men from the boys…

- R

Adventures in Euro-Chode City

Sinn (paraphrased): “There’s a certain breed of guys that only exists in Europe… the Euro-Chodes”. (Euro-Chodius Maximus, often spotted near meat-markets or the local pub dressed in a stripe shirt, tight pants and ugly trainers. Known for their lame comments and not getting laid)

So I was in London last weekend to hang out with Sinn and the local London boys and catch Sinn’s day game, breakthrough comfort and same night lays seminar. First of all, all three seminars kicked some major ass. It was the first time I attended the BTC and SNL seminars, an even at my level I learned a lot. Even if I might have been introduced to the concepts earlier (and to a large extent already was using them in my game) hearing them presented in a structured fashion and straight from the source who invented a lot of this is clearly valuable.

On the subject of Sinn, with all the experience he’s got under his belt (pun intended) he’s still younger than you’d think - but he’s also a lot smarter than you think. Sitting in on his seminars you get hit by a constant stream of pure of gold, but also when you just chill out with the dude you’ll see he’s a lot smarter than you first might give him credit for (and is there a book out there you haven’t read bro?!). He’s like a mad genius and I’m sure that if he wouldn’t have been a “guru” in this, he would have been it in some other genre (like dark humor, speed reading or gangstah rap). It was a lot of fun winging with him; but even more fun just chilling out, cracking jokes and having a good time.

A funny little thing happened to me while we were out the first night… To make a long story short, I pulled a girl who thought I was her blind-date (lol) back to my hotel. It all started with Mr M introducing me as Zack for some reason and the girl going “So are you my blind date?”. That was all I needed to get into character. I kept it up for a good half-an-hour or something until I realized that this girl is pretty hot and I wanted to SNL her. So I told her I wasn’t her blind-date (I guess she kind of figured at this point because she kept asking me about “the texts I wrote earlier” haha), she got a bit pissed off and went away to find this Zack dude. After a while she came back to our table, told me how much of a chode the real Zack was and how she’d rather spend the night with me… Game, set and match.

From there it was easy pickings, until when I was trying to pull her to my hotel and we walked around trying to find a cab for like 15 minutes outside the club… and at the same time her friend (probably the one who set her up with the blind-date) kept calling her like crazy wondering if she was alright and trying to talk her into coming to her place instead of mine (no, not for a threesome you fool, she was trying to cock-block!!!). First of all, what the fuck is up with the lack of night-time cabs in London? It’s super hard to get a licensed taxi when the club closes, so you have to get some dodgy black cab instead, and haggle about the price because the fuckers over-charge like crazy… so you are standing there in the awesome London weather with a girl ready to go and trying to a haggle a decent price with some shady cab driver… not the ideal situation. On top of that, as I mentioned, her friend kept calling her which is a pain too. A tip I got from Sinn when I talked to him about it: Just turn her cell off. Sometimes the easiest solution is the best one…

I also had a 1on1 on Saturday and Sunday night. The guy had two things that I love to see in students: motivation and passion. He was highly motivated to get this aspect of life sorted out (but also generally a person with lots of motivation to do things which is always a good trait) and an ability to display passion which is going to be incredibly valuable in his comfort game. In my book, if you were allowed to only do one thing in comfort, displaying passion for something is by far the most important thing.

Again, I had a blast in London. Shout out to AFC Adam, Sheriff, Mr. M and the Entourage Boys - you guys rokk.

Vegas Update: If you guys want to find me and Sinn in Vegas at the Super Conference, look for us (being absolutely wasted) at the Black Jack tables. My strategy? Hit on 15 through 20, double sixes and split tens. Here’s a video of my last Black Jack session:

http://thatvideosite.com/video/286

- R

A short Norwegian lesson

Okay here’s something I came to think about while in Norway… First of all, girls in Norway are super-friendly. Like seriously… I never got a frosty reaction from ANYONE, not even 10s. Now I would love to say that was just because I was on fire that weekend, but you all should know that no matter how good you are, you will still (more often than not) get an initial icy reaction from 9s and 10s from your cold approach… but not in Norway. They also absolutely LOVE Swedish guys (big surprise huh?) and there’s cute/hot girls everywhere. Norway made a really good impression on me, too bad they speak a fucked up language…

However, there’s a lesson to be learned here. I’d never done pickup in Norway before last weekend, but been told lots about how cute and friendly Norwegian girls are. Now one of my standard mindsets that I always have is that all girls are friendly. I’ve ingrained that mindset because it helps me a lot in field; my sub-communications will be a lot better if I go into set with that mindset (compare it to approaching a set while thinking wow, those girls look bitchy. What do you think you are going to sub-communicate to them?).

So if I repeat to myself “Norwegian girls are super friendly” I’m naturally going to find myself in an upwards spiral where I build confidence and “state” because my approach will be better (because of the sub-communications) and I’m reinforcing the fact that they are friendly in my mind from the good interactions I’m having.

You’ll be amazed at the result if you start feeding your sub-conscious mind with positive thoughts instead of negative. So if you don’t truly believe that all girls are friendly, start working on reframing that in your mind today! Because after all, they truly are friendly (the cute little ones just have to test you a bit first).

- R

Norway Special One On One

I just got back home from a crazy weekend in Norway, where I did a special 2 day One on One session. Normally a One on One lasts for about 8 hours, but this guy special booked me for a consecutive 2 day session to really jump start his game and man did we ever! Since he booked me both Friday and Saturday, the structure of the session became more like a mini-bootcamp than a regular One on One session which gave me the opportunity to cover huge amounts of theory in the day (much like a bootcamp but with the added benefit of being able to really dig into details on the topics and subjects my student wanted to hear more about, which is not always possible in a normal bootcamp because of the time schedule we have to stick to) and 100% individual attention in field not only from me but also from Thor, an instructor in the making (a former student I’ve taken under my wings, read my blog post on Mentorship) who helped me out on this 1 on 1.

The student was a cool, chill, good-looking guy who’s going to progress really fast and be awesome in field if he keeps practicing. Before the session his sticking points were opening and transitioning, and now he’s going back home working on converting all the IOI’s he’s receiving into something solid, fine tune his attraction game and work on “set micro management” to get a feeling for when the right time to move the girl(s) and/or isolate, when to neg, when to spike their emotions, how to push/pull and group control - in other words opening and transitioning is a piece of cake and even his attraction game is starting to look really good.

On my part, the weekend resulted in an involuntary bath-room pull on Thursday, and I and Thor pulled one girl each on both Friday and Saturday. I’ll tell you more about it in upcoming posts…

Shout out to Thor for helping me out on the session (thanks buddy) and to Nstar and Skills who let me stay at their place while in Norway. Thanks guys!

- R

How To Impress Instructors

Being able to bond with other guys and make new friends is to me an equally important “life skill” as having game. You want to be able to befriend people you truly want in your life and that you are proud to call your friends and not some random dudes who “happens to be your friends” (Recommended reading: Braddock on wings and cutting friends). Above that, if you had to move to another city where you'd know no one, would you be able to create a really strong and cool social circle from scratch?

I often get questions like “Rokker, my friends don't dig that I'm going out and practicing my pick-up skills... they don't want me to change and all they do is to try and bring me down. What should I do?” from guys that are just starting out. Well the solution is to go get some new friends! It's quite refreshing, with every new person you meet you have a clean slate – why not start creating awesome impressions on everyone you meet, guys and girls, instead of being stuck in the same old rut?

I'm not saying you should do a 180 on your old friends and never speak to them again, just don't go out with them or discuss pick-up with them if they try to stop you from changing into the better. Don't you deserve friends who wants you to succeed and be the best you can be?

On bootcamps, it's quite natural that the students more often than not try to bond with and impress the instructors.

I remember when I took my bootcamp, I wanted to impress the instructors. Why? Because they had a skill I wanted to learn, and I also knew that they recruited new instructors through old students. I bonded pretty well with the instructors and that helped me tremendously on my way to become an instructor myself (or more correctly I wouldn't have been an instructor if I wouldn't have bonded with them)

Since I myself tried to impress the instructors, I'm now very aware of and can easily see who's trying to do the same to me on the bootcamps I'm at. Now I love to make new friends and I've met a bunch of really cool students through this, but some people out there really have some fucked up views on and ways of trying to make friends or in this case to impress the instructors. Bonding with guys require as much social skill as pulling girls, so if you can't do that you most likely have similar sticking points when trying to pick-up girls. Here are some tips and guidelines if you want to impress your instructors (with the added benefit of you getting the best experience out of your bootcamp)

• Don't go out of your way to try and “act cool”. The most annoying thing ever is when students try to act unimpressed and “like they've seen it all before” because they think we'll like them more that way – when in fact it only leads to two things:
  

  • a) they don't dare to crash and burn in field because they are afraid of losing face in front of us and
  • b) as an instructor you want to be able to help your student to your best ability and the only way we can truly do that is if you accept and expose your sticking points and let us solve them for you. By hiding them and not going 100% in field you are only shooting yourself in the foot. We don't ever look down upon students who gets blown out of sets in field... because first of all we've all been in a similar situation before (and we've all been blown out before) and secondly we have now discovered something we need to work on and can now start working on improving your skills. Respect.

• When we are out in field, give it your absolute best. The guys we respect the most (and the ones who are easiest to bond with) are the ones who give 110% in field and are willing to listen to feedback and change.

• I don't give a shit if your game is amazing, utterly crap or anything in between when you come to the BC, just show me that you are willing to learn, change and improve and I'll give you respect.

• Do not try to neg or frame control the instructors to show them you know the theory. We don't give out extra points if you manage to “neg an instructor”, it just makes you look fucking weird. What you've just shown is lack of basic social understanding and lousy calibration.

• Be a good listener. Don't talk over guys you are trying to learn from, even when you're not in seminar. Look at it this way, if someone knows more about a topic than you do, will you learn more yourself by
  

  • a) asking a few questions and then listening humbly while they talk, or
  • b) tell them what your thoughts are and what your experiences are with that topic (credit Soul)
    

• General tip: When people teach you things, if the information they are giving you is useful and relevant, be appreciative of what they're saying - say things like, "wow, that makes a lot of sense", "you explained that really well", etc. If you compliment people for what they're doing, they're reinforced in that and will do it even more. (credit Soul)

• Don't argue theory with us in seminars . If you have questions on the material we present then by all means ask away, but don't go “well, XYZ says you should do THIS and NOT THAT but you are saying we should do ZYX and I've read...” We know that our material works, otherwise we wouldn't teach it. If we teach it, it means we have spent countless of hours in field to make sure it works. We never present material that hasn't been field tested and arguing with us in seminar which theory is the best is a surefire way to piss instructors off.

All in all, the best way to bond with me personally is to give your best in field and don't put on a persona “you think I'll like” - I'll see right through that little act.

Remember, we are trying to create a better LIFE for ourselves, not just being able to pull hot girls. Having a great life means being able to connect with guys as well.

Rokker's Reading Tip: Dale Carnegie - How to win friends and influence people

- R

Mentorship

I guess everyone out there is looking for, or hoping that it exists, a magic bullet or a quick fix to change whatever they are not happy with or acquire a skill they desire. By now it should be painfully clear that there exists no quick fix or magic bullets when it comes to building skills. You have to be out there in the trenches and earn your stripes with hard work and dedication. However, something that will help you on your way of mastering a skill is having a mentor/coach.

Whether it’s learning pick-up, how to play an instrument, how to keep your body in shape or any other skill, to have someone guide you and inspire you can make a world of a difference! So in any skill you want to get better at, ask yourself this question: “What can I do to get someone to help me increase my skill?”.

Sometimes you are lucky and someone who can inspire and help you is already willing to help you for free. That’s great! But maybe you need to find or create that opportunity for yourself or pay for it if you have to. No one is going to come knocking on your door and go “Hey, want to get better with women?” (But if someone does, I suggest you slam the door in their face and run away haha!). I was more than willing to pay for my bootcamp to increase my skill with women. Do I want to have money sitting in the bank, or do I want to spend it on improving my life? Hmm let me see… tough decision.

When I decided to start working out more regularly (a while after I busted my knee playing sports and went to the gym when I felt like it) I wanted to do something new and exciting that would motivate me to work out more. I called two of my friends who are amazing break dancers and told them that if they taught me how to break, I would teach them how to play guitar. They happily accepted, but I’m pretty sure they would have taught me anyway if I’d just ask, but this was a good example of creating a “win-win” situation. Creating win-win situations is an important skill to have and I might write up a post about it later, but for now let’s stick to the topic. In essence, I created motivation for them to learn to play guitar (which they probably wouldn't have done otherwise), and they helped me work out more and have fun doing so. But not only that, surrounding yourself with people better at a skill than you will almost automatically raise your skill...

In pick-up my mentor was (and still to some extent is) “legendary dating guru” Sheriff. I met him for the first time when he helped Sinn out at the very first Stockholm MM bootcamp. The bootcamp was a blast and already while doing the bootcamp I decided I wanted to put all the effort needed into this to reach instructor level.

The instructors saw my potential, but with the rest of the guys being from US it would be hard for them to coach me over seas and bring me up to instructor status, so Sheriff (based in London) stepped up and took me under his wings. However, big props also goes out to The Don who promised to bring me out to the next Stockholm bootcamp they’d ever do - that fact helped me get through a lot of bad nights in field the first couple of months…

So Sheriff invited me over to London to help out on his bootcamps and was kind enough to let me stay at his house so I could learn everything there is to know about being an instructor. We would discuss pick-up theory, how to be the best instructor possible and go out and wing each other. Above being a really good instructor, he’s also an amazing friend and we always have a lot of fun when we hang out.

Soon the master became the apprentice… haha, but there’s no doubt that I wouldn’t be in the position I’m in today if it wasn’t for Sheriff. I have a huge amount of respect and gratitude for the guy.

So there you have it, a good example of mentorship taken from my very own life. I strongly suggest you try to find a coach or mentor too, in whatever skill you wish to acquire.

Rokker’s Advanced Dating Tip: If your mentor is kind enough to let you stay at his or her house, don’t pull two girls back to the place and bang one of the girls (especially if she’s a screamer or a loud moaner) in the kitchen in the middle of the night. Your mentor might have a girlfriend who freaks out and bans you from staying at your mentors place again.

- R

Miami Madness!

So I promised to write up some posts about past bootcamps, and the first I want to write about is the Miami bootcamp that was held late December last year. Now I could go on a rant about how much I like Miami (and I probably will later in this post) but for now let’s just say it was one of the best cities I’ve done pick-up in, if not the best. Why? Well, what about great weather, really hot girls and awesome clubs for a start? Quality-wise the girls were almost as hot as the girls around Stureplan in Stockholm, Sweden (if you like to hang around hot girls and never been to Stockholm… wow, you’ve been missing out) but with less blondes (although they were traded for exotic brunettes which is a fair deal from my point of view, getting tired of blondes).

The weather was really refreshing too, compared to the Swedish blistering cold I came from. Not only did the weather make me happy, but since it’s good pretty much all year around it allows the clubs to have huge outdoor sections. So the clubs had an indoor section where they blasted loud music and where people could dance, and huge outdoor sections where you could chill and actually talk to people. Combine that with loads of places to isolate the hot girls in the outdoor sections and you realize that the pre-conditions for pick-up were nearly perfect. If you want to dedicate yourself to pick-up and move to the best place to practice it in, Miami is on the top of my list at the moment.

However, my trip down to Miami didn’t come to a good start. My journey from Sweden went smooth and steady until I came to Newark, where a blizzard or whatever made them cancel a shit load of flights including mine to Miami. Now when you are only flying out for the weekend and after queuing in 2 hours not knowing when you are going to leave crappy airport you’re at, you DON’T want to hear the bastard behind the desk go “Uhm it looks like the next direct flight for Miami leaves first on Monday”. They said that the weather might get better tomorrow and temporarily booked me on a flight to Miami with a 3 hour stop in Tampa (this flight was scheduled to leave Newark around 11am on Friday). Not very happy about the situation since I would miss the first day of seminar, I checked into a hotel in New Jersey and wrote the other instructors an email about my situation and that I wasn’t going to be in Miami until late next day. Here’s the reply I got back from Braddock:

NO WAY BRO!!!! You are missing out! There are 26 girls trying out for playboy staying IN OUR HOTEL!!!!!! There is a playmate shoot down the street and they have been here all week. They are leaving tomorrow afternoon. They have been working all week and the shoot ended today or this morning or something, but they don't have to work tonight so we are gonna go drink with them.

They are all fucking 9's and 10's!!!!!

I suggest jogging down here if you have to.hommie!!!!! You must have pissed off God or something.

I will fuck one in your honor,

Braddock

Stuck in freezin’ New Jersey, dreaming about sunny Miami, you can imagine how it felt when I read that, eventho I knew it probably wasn’t true :).

I’d never met Braddock before, but let me tell you that I’ve been around (inside joke: I’ve been a bouncer for a many years) and Braddock is the real deal. He’s a really chill, cool and funny guy. I don’t think I even have to mention his game; he’s a Mystery Method instructor… Of course the man's got game! (and yes it’s really tight. Yes, tight. Really, really tight. Capisce?) I wish I could’ve seen more of it, but the tight schedule didn’t allow us to hang out more - something I plan to change when we are hanging out in Vegas before the Super Conference. What’s really cool is that he’s one of those guys you would consider more of a friend than colleague, so even if we wouldn’t have game in common I bet we still would have a kick-ass time anyway.

Two other cool guys I met in Miami were Kisser and Loki. Kisser is probably the most positive person I’ve ever met. Like geeze, I thought I was positive all the time… but this guy takes the prize, and that’s why he’s a great guy to hang out with. You absolutely want to surround yourself with people with positive energy, a good little tip on improving your life in general.

Loki was this chill Miami guy with a lot of cool hook-ups in the club scene. Again, one of these persons you could hang out with just for fun and he had some really cool stories to tell. Wish I could have seen him game more, but I’m sure I will in the future.

All in all a great weekend with a bunch of cool students (special shout out to “Face” or J, he’s probably the coolest student I’ve ever met) in one of the best pick-up cities in the world. Big props to Braddock who stepped in when Sheriff got ill (puked his guts out) and delivered a top-notch seminar, one of the best I've been to. Amazing. I still beat him in street defense and random drinking games though.

Tip of the Day: If someone ever AMOGs you, all you need to say and do is to go “Wrong move… Don’t ever do that to El Guapo” and then give them a kick in the groin. BAM BAM BAM!

(Yes, it’s another one of those inside jokes. Damn you Rokker!)

- R

Welcome To The House Of Rokk(er)

It's about time I start blogging about my adventures as a Mystery Method instructor, and what better time than right now at the start of a fresh new year? My prediction for the year: Awesomeness. This year is going to rokk more than any other year, so buckle up (or if you're adventurous, don't) and let's kick some ass! Hey freaky Joe, not literally, I don't want to get sued because you kicked some poor girls ass! However, you are allowed to spank her... lightly.

The new year have come to a great start, and I plan to keep the awesomeness up. Some really cool things are happening in a near future (like a MM Super Conference in Vegas and the recording of a new demo) so hopefully this blog will be updated pretty regularly with some neat posts, not only about pick-up but also about life in general (but if I know myself right those posts will be pick-up related in some way or another anyway...)

I also have a bunch of cool posts about past BCs and 1on1s I want to post about, so stay tuned!

Until then, here's a collection of some of my best posts:
Reaching Your Goals
Excuses... Get Rid Of Them!
Analyzing Approaches And Building Your Skills
Getting Her Alone
Motivational Boosts
The Quick Fix

I'll make a post soon with posts from other peeps I think you all should read. Until then, remember: Nothing worth having in this life comes easy.

Peace!

- R