I Could Make It As a Porn Star

Yo peeps, this has been one fantastic weekend. I had a three day 1on1 with a guy who took a bootcamp a couple of months ago and have the ambitions to become an instructor with us, so he took a session with me to see if I thought he was instructor material. It’s always great (and a lot of fun) to have 1on1’s with people who are really committed and driven. This guy has a lot of talent and is going to be really good one day… but only if he keeps practicing. Like any other skill, even if you have talent, it requires a lot of time and practice to get really good. A lot of guys out there want to reach instructor level, but only very few do, because most guys don’t realize how much effort you have to put in to this. On the other hand, when you get to the point where you get the girls you want and live in sexual abundance, it’s worth every minute.

One of the best things about 1on1s is that it’s tailor-made training. One size definitely doesn’t fit all, and these sessions really give me the opportunity to get to know the student and make sure he develops a style that suits his identity and personality. For example, my student this weekend was way too indirect and, thanks to great body language amongst other things, could benefit from a more direct style – so that’s one of the things we worked on. It was awesome to see the transformation from Friday to Saturday night!

For you who don’t know what happens on a 1on1, I follow the same procedure every time:

- As soon as you are confirmed for the 1on1 we have email correspondence so I can get an overview of who you are and your current sticking points. This allows me to prepare for the 1on1 and make sure we can focus on maximizing your time with me.

- I then give you in field “missions” for you to complete and practice on (so you can work on your sticking points effectively) before our session so you have something to work on until our session.

- I encourage students to report back to me and give me field reports so I know how they are doing. The more information the student provides in these emails, the better I’ll know what to specifically work on when we are having the session.

- When it’s time for our session, we meet up for 4-5 hours and discuss theory and I talk about how to fix your current sticking points.

- We then head out in to the field for the same amount of time and I provide feedback, comments, tips, suggestions and of course wing you.

- If it’s a one day 1on1, we’ll debrief at the end of the night. If it’s more than one day, we debrief the next day and then repeat the same procedure as the first day (meet up and debrief, talk about new sticking points and how to improve, discuss theory and then head out into field again)

- When the session is over I encourage my students to keep sending me emails and tell me how they are doing and how their game is progressing. I want everyone to be the best they can be, and if they have any questions I’m only an email away.

If you have any questions about 1on1s, feel free to email me at: Rokker[at]lovesystems.com.

So how was my own game this weekend? Well on Friday I demonstrated SNL game to my student and pulled this hot 29yo. It started with her walking by me, HiRoller (Thor’s new instructor name) and a friend of ours, and I claw her in (it looked like she was looking for someone) and go “Hey, I bet you are looking for us. This is HiRoller and XYZ”. She’s really receptive to the dominance I displayed so I make a mental note of that, let HiRoller and our buddy chat with her for a while before I pull her aside and go “so who are you?”. Since assuming attraction is a part of my game (read my post on my game here) I want to switch to a qualifying frame as soon as possible. The set is really on already, and we are both kinoing each other. I run some identity stuff (mostly story telling) and then qualify her for it (she’s actually really funny and witty) and I use a lot of push /pull along with some disqualification (I don’t remember exact wordings, but general kino push/pull, teasing and making fun of her). See, this is why I think LR’s are over-rated; you got to see this happening in order to fully appreciate it. It would be awesome if I could somehow videotape every set I do… at least my student got to see it and learn from it, how I use my body language and attitude to my advantage. Anyways, to make a long story short she hangs around me for an hour or so, and at this point we are ready to bounce to another venue. At this point I know I could have pulled her, but I have a 1on1 and can’t leave my student, so I just number-close and make sure I seed the idea of an after-party… of course she is up for it. Fast forward til the end of the night, where she texts me:

Her: “How’s [the club we’re at]?”
Me: “It’s cool, but let’s have an after party instead”
Her: “Haha, I stopped going to after parties when I turned 25 J So you and I are going to have an after party at my place” (don’t you just love girls with confidence?)
Me: “Oh, you think you can handle a young energetic stud like me?”
Her: “I don’t think that will be a problem. Been there done that. What would be so hard to handle?”
Me: “I like you already. Meet me at [place]”

That’s what I like about older girls… they really know what they want and they’ve been around so they know what’s going down, no LMR, no bullshitting around :) They are really easy to qualify too, because usually they've got some shit going on in their lives.

On Saturday HiRoller threw a party in a five star suite (party like a ROCK STAR). Like expected the guy-girl ratio was off the hook (1 guy on 4 girls), so my plan was simple: get a lot of pre-selection and jealousy plotlines going. Just like in a club, it’s really important that you are the social entity in the room… and this is so easy to create at a party. You just talk to everyone and apply SCM concepts, meaning not necessarily running standard game. This is a post in of itself, and if I find time to write up my thoughts about it I will.

Now I couldn’t close until I came back for the after-party because we needed to head out for the 1on1, but I even had girls asking HiRoller for my number after I’ve headed out with my student, so I knew I had done a good job. Had a blast out with my student (who had improved A LOT from the night before) and then headed back for the after-party. I chat up this tall, hot, blonde girl originally from Estonia (although she looked kinda Swedish). The whole interaction escalated pretty fast as she had seen me at the party, so I had a lot of social proof and pre-selection going on (combined with some solid push/pull and disqualification game). Anyway, a really funny thing happened… in the interaction, I talked about how I want to move to LA and said:

Me: “If I move to LA either of two things are going to happen; either I’ll make it and be a big rock star… or [jokingly] I’ll end up as a porn star”.
Her: “[flirtingly] so what makes you think you’d make it as a porn star?”
Me: “Being a good porn star requires three things: the energy, the charisma and the equipment. So far you’ve seen two of those three, and let me tell you… the only reason I’ve seen Sex and The City (the series) a couple of times is because one of the characters in there have the same nickname as me…” (One of the characters is named “Mr. Big”).

I keep gaming her and we head back to her place (lol yeah I’m missing out on some details here but this is not a LR). After we’ve gone at it again in the morning she says to me: “You know you could really make it as a porn star… you’ve got the material”. ‘Nuf said.

- R

What happened in London?

Hey guys, I'll soon write up a post about what happened this weekend in London because it was a lot of fun and I'm sure you guys want to read about what happens when you throw a bunch of elite instructors together. I can't do it right now though as I've got one foot out the door, heading out on a little road trip with old friends to celebrate mid-summer (something we do here in Sweden, I have no idea if anyone else does that lol) but we'll see if I find time to do it when I return on Sunday.

I also have some ideas on other posts I'd like to get down and I think they can be pretty money too. We'll see what happens. Now it's time to P-A-R-T-A-Y. Yup, the extra A stands for Awesomeness.

[Marge]: Homer, the plant called. They said if you don't show up tomorrow don't bother showing up on Monday.
[Homer]: Woo-ho, four-day weekend!

- R

My Game: Insight on How I Game

Introduction
I just got back from an awesome weekend in London with a bunch of instructors (Savoy, Braddock, Mr M, Soul and some approach coaches who proved themselves this weekend and made it into the ranks of Love Systems… congrats guys!) Like you expect when you put a group of instructors together in the same place, there’s going to be discussions about game and how we game – the things that we do that makes us successful in field. It’s always interesting to discuss game with other top instructors because you almost always learn something new and exchange ideas that will improve your game. Even though all the instructors are in the same company as I, we all have different styles. Sure, some styles are similar, but we are definitely not replicas in terms of game. We have all taken the concepts and ideas from “theory” and through solid field work worked out the style of game we want to run – and the style that gives us the best results.

I think that’s a really important point to make for all the guys out there, you’ve got to carve out your own style of game from your experiences and not just copy someone else’s. It’s the same thing as working out and getting in shape; you shouldn’t just copy what someone else is doing and expect the same results as they are getting – you’ve got to apply what works for you and use your experience to put together your own work-out plan that gives you the results you want instead of following exactly what someone else is doing.

I think this also shows that we as a company are always evolving; we are no longer “the old Mystery Method” bound by certain rules set 4-5 years ago and tied to a certain style of game. I totally disagree with some of the “old rules”, such as the 7 hour rule or that your value is inherently lower than the value of a super hot girl. We have an amazing backbone structure in the emotional progression model, but what I like the most about it is that it’s not limiting you at all; you can adapt whatever style of game that suits you the most. I do think it’s awesome that we have so many different styles (direct, indirect, social circle oriented, identity oriented, natural, disqualification oriented etc) within the company.

All that being said, it’s always useful to get insights on how other people game, and try some of it out for yourself and see what sticks with you. The purpose of this post is to express some ideas that I use in my game. Hopefully it can help you put a new perspective on things and improve your game. First, let me give you an overview what my game is revolving around. I’ll then break down each section in more detail and give you guys some insights on how you can incorporate it into your own game. I’ll try to include as much information and detail as I can about the way I game, but naturally it would be impossible for me to cover every single detail of my game. This will be like me explaining the tip of the iceberg, but still introduces you to some concepts and ideas that I think you could benefit from.

Overarching ideas
My style of game is VERY Same Night Lay based. In other words, it’s specifically tailor-made for meeting girls at clubs and bars and taking them home the same night. For this style to work I believe it’s tremendously important that you develop some specific mindsets, beliefs and attitudes. A lot of my actions are drawn from the influence of these.
A huge thing to emphasize here is that I absolutely don’t consider a girl a slut, “easy” or put any value judgments on her if I can take her home the same night I met her. I’m extremely non-judgmental about this and I can’t stress this enough. In my opinion you simply can’t pull off consistent Same Night Lay game if you have weird beliefs about girls’ sexuality (like good girls don’t put out on the first night) or if you are a misogynist – because it will shine through, ruin your interactions and prevent you from getting what you want. Also, some people draw ego boosts out of sleeping with girls the first night (or sleeping with as many girls as possible) - a mindset I find atrocious. All the validation you need should come from within yourself. This might seem slightly off topic, but I think it’s really important to comprehend the fundamental mindsets and beliefs that permeate a certain style of game to really understand it.

While on the subject of mindsets, I’ve benefitted a lot from the following ones too;
All girls love me
All girls are friendly
Your value is roughly equal to what you perceive your own value to be
All girls are, under the right circumstances, willing to go home with a guy the first night
I’m a value bringer, not a value taker
No girl is “too good for me”. I deserve the best and I’m not afraid to get it
It’s my job as a man to escalate and make things happen
Rejection is a learning experience

Key concepts
Apart from the mindsets stated above, there are certain key concepts that I revolve my game around. Without further ado, they are:

Assuming Attraction
Value
Identity
Qualifying
Frames

Ok, so let’s break each concept down.

Assuming Attraction
A lot of guys go in to set with the intention to impress the girls, show them that he’s cool and hopefully they’ll get attracted to him. What I do instead is that I assume the girl is already attracted to me (before I’ve even opened her). Why wouldn’t she be? I’m awesome. But here’s the important part; just because I consider myself awesome doesn’t mean I should be an asshole (in other words try to put the frame that I’m high value and she is low value and try to put her down) or that I’m socially uncalibrated or insecure (by trying to constantly prove that I’m awesome). So one might think it’s a fine line to walk between being confident and an asshole… but it’s really not. Once you have your inner game down and a decent social understanding, you understand that it’s not attractive behavior to put other people down (and you’ll have no need to) and you will have the “aura of awesomeness” glowing all around you if you are confident in your own value and attractiveness.

This sort of thinking has reduced my approach anxiety ten folds too. I’m very confident in my own abilities and value, and I know that I’ll act even more attractive if I believe that she is already attracted to me… so that’s what I’ll do. And how hard is it to approach a girl you already know is attracted to you? On a similar note, that’s the reason why it’s so hard to get rid of a girl that’s really attracted to you… because as soon as you know that she is attracted to you, you unconsciously start to act in a way that’s even more attractive. Have you ever had that? There this one girl that keeps stalking you, and the more you push her away the more interested she becomes, because you are acting even more and more interesting to her. Well it’s kind of the same mentality that goes on here too. It might sound a bit self-righteous to walk around and (probably falsely) believe that everyone is attracted to you, but the thing is that a belief doesn’t have to be true to be helpful (something Sinn taught me a long time ago). You’ll be amazed at the different reactions you get once you start implementing this attitude.

Value
This might be the most important concept that I use. I previously mentioned that I don’t like the idea that we should have the mindset that we are of lower value than the girl (in fact, I HATE that mindset and think its utter bullshit).
What you believe your own value is what’s going to make or break your game. I always believe that I’m at the top level of the value chain in any given room. This might or might not be true; it doesn’t matter. What is value anyways? Who’s got the most money? The most social proof? Or is it just, and wouldn’t that be awesome, what the person himself consider his or her value to be?
Once you start thinking of yourself as high value, a lot of good things will come to you. However it could also turn you into that self-loving prick that everyone hates. It really is a fine line, but I’ll tell you the secret to what it all comes down to… it’s GIVING value instead of TAKING it. If you like yourself but at the same time provide value for others, then that’s when your game is going to explode.

Another thing that can be a really high value behavior, but easily reach a tipping point and become a low value behavior, is teasing. Confident people tease and are not afraid to tease, but they also know when to draw the line, stop teasing and switch it up by giving compliments. The best guys I know have an uncanny ability to give perfect compliments; the ones that make you feel really good.
So the concept of value is one of the centerpieces in my game. I tease a lot, but I also give girls compliments on the things I think they deserve. I always consider myself to have a lot of value, and I’m not afraid to bring that value to others.

Identity
This could easily be a post in of itself, but I just want to address the most important parts of having a strong identity. It’s no secret that a lot of my game is identity driven, and the reason for that is because it allows the girl to (what I like to call) “sexy stereotype” me. In other words, by having a rockstar identity, I get a lot of things for free (such as pre-selection, social proof etc). She’s going to assume I have those things, since they are a part of the rockstar identity.But not only that, it also allows me to do what I like to call “anchoring my attraction”. So what I do is that instead of running a bunch of routines that has nothing to do with me and my life, I tell her stories and anecdotes that are based from my identity and thus the attraction she feels for me is tied to my identity. This makes me so much more attractive, not only do I display attractive personal qualities (confidence, taking what I want, passion etc) but I can also back it up with an awesome lifestyle.

Qualification
Something I do a lot is that I convey a lot of “identity value” and then right afterwards I qualify based on the identity value. So for example, I’ll tell them stories about how I feel right before I go on stage (emotional spikes), how I love performing (DHVs) and touring, how I’m fortunate that I can pursue my dreams and ambitions and then I qualify if she’s pursuing her dreams. A qualifying question has an immensely bigger chance of succeeding if you go for it right after you yourself have displayed a lot of value. So whenever I’ve conveyed a lot of value I always switch to a qualifying frame. In fact, I switch to a qualifying frame as soon as I can get away with it. Why? It shows dominance and value, two things that are (almost) always beneficial. Try it and see what it can do for your game.

Frames
If you understand the concept of frames (and know how to set them) you are very close to “seeing the matrix”. What I like to do is to set disqualification, value and same night lay frames. I set disqualification frames in a number of ways; I use my body to show slight disinterest at the appropriate times (hard to describe in text, but basically communicates that “I’m calling the shots, I’m the one dominating this interaction” even though this isn’t a conscious thought process from my side), and I use words to do so too (to build sexual tension and attraction). I set value frames mainly from my inner game and the way I carry myself, and I set same night lay frames by qualifying the girls for certain things (like being non-judgemental, decisive and discrete). If have been in the game for a while now and want to take it to the next level, study the use of frames as this is the key to becoming really good.

This is probably the longest post I've ever written and still it only scratches the surface of my game, but as I mentioned earlier, implement some of the ideas in this post in your own game and see what works for you. To summarize it all, here’s the guide to my game;

Rokker ‘s Model (or How To Game Like a Rock Star);
1) Assume Attraction
2) Tease
3) Convey Identity
4) Qualify on the anchored attraction
5) Tease
6) Convey Identity
7) Put qualification frames
8) Build comfort
9) Seduce

- R

London, Govna!

Just booked my flight to London today! I'll be there over the weekend with Savoy, Braddock, Mr M, Soul and the approach coaches and just kicking it with the crew. I have no obligations to help out at the workshop that Braddock and Mr M are running, but I'll probably make a guest appearance and share my wisdom.

Really looking forward to this weekend! It'll be awesome to see Savoy and Braddock again, haven't seen them since the Super Conference in Feb. I'm also really excited about getting the latest insights of Social Circle Mastery and "Project Rockstar" that my hommies are running, and see if they've chosen any lucky ones yet ;) I mean it's an opportunity of a lifetime and people are CRAZY if they aren't jumping on this like a fat kid on chocolate cake!

Oh, while I'm in London I'll also try to squeeze in a talk about SNLs for the local lair. SNLs is definitely my speciality and I'd love to share my insights on it to local lairs and the community.

I'm pretty busy the upcoming weeks so we'll see how much I can update this blog. I'd love to post every day on here, but something always seems to come in the way... oh now I know what it is, I think it's called "having an awesome life". Life is sweet! I do have some topics I want to post articles on so keep checking the message boards and this blog as I'll post them sooner or later.

Peace
- R